In Korea, they have been practicing it for more than 5,000 years and Korean nunchi is still extremely relevant today and functional for building solid, empathetic, valuable social relationships. It is not a discipline accessible only to a few chosen followers, nor a meditation technique or a holistic practice introduced by gurus or professional guides. It is about conscious listening through the five senses of the emotional state of people, places, and situations. Anyone can approach nunchi, learn to observe with the eyes, listen with the heart, and intercept vibrations through special epidermal, olfactory, emotional “antennae”.
By doing this, you come to understand small nuances and important details, which can make a difference in interpersonal relationships. It is a sort of tuning in and decoding of the surrounding environment and the emotions that inhabit people, an emotional reading if we want to call it that. In the West, it is usually defined by different names: empathy, intuition, emotional intelligence, and energetic communication. Personal qualities that contribute to creating more authentic and sincere connections that can make a difference in relationships of any kind, sentimental, professional, or friendship.
Take measurements before speaking
In Korean, nunchi means “the eye and the measure,” a very evocative expression that suggests looking at and measuring oneself (with words). In practice, nunchi is the subtle art of understanding and capturing the thoughts, concerns, and emotions of your interlocutor, to build a harmonious relationship based on mutual exchange. This Korean art is particularly suitable in the workplace, as it helps to avoid aggressive and unconstructive attitudes, to better choose the timing of an important conversation, and to interpret non-verbal language at a deeper level.
Honing your nunchi can also help you choose the right partner in life or business, shine at work, protect yourself from those who hinder you, and reduce social anxiety. We already have everything we need to do this: our eyes, our sense of touch, our sense of smell, and our ears. Remembering to pay attention to others, rather than always being focused on ourselves, is essential to having fruitful relationships. The nunchi method invites us to improve ourselves by focusing on our relationships.
Shhhhhhh! I’m listening
Its core can be summarized in this motto: talk less and listen more! If you follow this simple rule, you develop three positive elements in your relationship with the other: you establish a climate of trust and attentive listening, which facilitates harmony between the two parties and a greater connection. The important thing is to be confident in your ability to develop this art. In the case of a job interview, according to the Korean approach of nunchi, it is important at the beginning to let the interlocutor direct the conversation. The art of listening is generally always well appreciated, also because without attentive listening there would not even be a real conversation. When you experience a new situation, the best attitude to adopt is instead to remain in (vigilant) silence to capture all the signals and energies emanating from the person or the surrounding environment.
The right method for symmetrical, nourishing, indissoluble relationships
In short, we need to train ourselves to observe people intensely, to grasp their true nature hidden under the social mask. Implicit gestures often have more meaning than words: from sighs to pauses in speech, from tones of voice to glances, from the mess on a desk, or the smell emanating from an environment, it is a matter of implementing hypervigilance focused on others. This could protect us from narcissistic wounds, manipulative attitudes, from emotional or friendly disappointments. Decoding people’s attitudes in a few moments allows us to stabilize ourselves on the same wavelength as the other, a very positive approach in symmetrical relationships. If a relationship is well balanced, it allows us to be fully ourselves, to open up to the other even by accepting our vulnerability within the relationship, with the certainty that our revelations will not be used to harm us.
Furthermore, we proceed with the utmost honesty, managing conflicts productively and committing to mutual development. In a world where individualism and conflict seem to be the rule, the alternative opened by Nunchi allows us to create a climate of sociability within which it becomes easier to be happy, to experience well-being, and therefore to be more successful in every area. The antechamber, in short, is for deep and nourishing relationships, for unique and indissoluble bonds. Just what the world would enormously need.