Nowadays we live in such a hurry, especially in big cities, that we don’t even have time to live – excuse the redundancy. With a very high level of stress and cortisol through the roof, we have the “rabbit complex” of Alice in Wonderland, who never has time for anything and is always late. So, it is to a certain extent normal that spiritual and silent retreats have become fashionable. They are usually held in natural settings and offer the benefits of tranquility, peace, and rest. They are good experiences and help enormously to raise awareness, but a Buddhist retreat is much more than that.

1. A retreat to internalize

The first important issue we have to resolve is deciding to do a retreat, which requires our bravery and courage to consciously distance ourselves from the noise of the so-called real world. With this decision, in addition to going against the current, we are not only letting go of all the overstimulation to which we are exposed in our daily lives, but we are also distancing ourselves from all our objects of attachment and aversion – whether they are things, people, pets, relationships, jobs, hobbies… – which automatically stop having so much power or direct influence over us.

2. Confidence, aspiration, exploration

At first, it may be a strange, incomprehensible, even uncomfortable situation, and we may even feel the need to run away. That is why the presence of the teacher is so important. He will show us the path that he has already taken and will help us to be patient, to open our hearts, and to seek a deep connection with ourselves and with him. If we allow him to direct our steps, we will not regret it.

Then, with this precise guidance from the teacher,  we develop an aspiration as pure as we can, we travel inward and enter an inner space, not new, but insufficiently explored by ourselves. With flexibility and discipline, with the opening of meditation – in a controlled and protected laboratory practice – the noise in our mind is relieved, we have more clarity, our heart speaks to us, we connect with our tenderness and, very importantly, fear is reduced.

In this way we prepare ourselves to explore a new reality, to police who we are, essentially, and what our relationship is with the environment that surrounds us and, ultimately, with the world.

3. Discoveries

The Dharma teachings have great power, but if we do not practice them properly, that power will remain a mere potential that will not be developed – as all the great masters say. In the words of Ven. Lama Rinchen.

While we are meditating, reciting sadhanas, accumulating mantras, making offerings, participating in rituals, or simply eating, we are focused on enlightenment… and that occupies almost all the hours of the day. Our beloved Lama also says: “There is no way to generate access to the sublime if you have not first worked on the relative; and the retreat is that precious opportunity to do so in a controlled dimension of space-time, where we harmonize our relative existence with the ultimate reality” almost full time.

And, from there, working every day on the humility of not knowing, flexibility, discipline, vigilant attention, and full attention – recollection – the mental films that we build appear on the screen, our particular demons, whatever they may be.

Again, the master, with his presence, helps us to “sustain” what arises and we see that this is progress… And the demons reappear… and we “sustain” and advance again… And we discover that they become more and more “subtle ”, and we continue to advance… And there is no more, nor less either.

In some way, in this process we integrate that we are not “living” reality, but rather “thinking” it; and we become very aware that we are “above” our thoughts, that they do not dominate us, that they simply come and go. With this we experience that we have a voice and a vote in this whole film, we stop being afraid and, ultimately, we develop confidence that we can tame the mind… Knowledge emerges and spiritual reality advances within us, little by little. 

On a retreat we make a huge leap forward in all of this: we advance much further than we could achieve in our limited daily practice time. And it must also be said that we often do not realize the impact during the retreat itself, but rather sometime after it is completed.

4. The accompaniment of spiritual friends

All our fellow retreatants are working on the same thing as us and in the same space and time. This, depending on the duration of the retreat, generates a group energy that enhances our individual and joint development. In this special brotherhood, we recognize ourselves in others, we support each other, we support each other invisibly, and for a moment the barriers of ego fall. Each one works on himself, but simultaneously, “we are all one,” “we are all working together,” and we can enter,  in situ and for brief moments, into that state of transcendental consciousness.

When we have some experience, and it is opportune, we can make retreats in solitude, which can also be longer or shorter. But the organized retreats we are talking about here, in addition to the advantages of having all the logistics resolved – an issue that is by no means trivial – and the invaluable presence of the teacher, have the advantage of the strength of spiritual friends.

5. No expectations

These beginner experiences that I can share are just a quick appetizer for the veteran retirees who, if they read them, will surely smile with understanding remembering those beginnings. 

However, even if we have done retreats before, each experience is different from the others… so it is best not to have specific expectations since whatever we think will happen will probably not happen.

In retreat, we learn to let ourselves go, to do our best here and now, and to trust in what is to come. We prepare ourselves to accept whatever arises. We become accustomed to the openness of meditation: if nothing happens, that’s fine; if everything happens, that’s fine too.

I did not want to end these lines without sharing with you a gift from a Vajra sister who, with a phrase from our venerable and beloved Lama Rinchen, helped me a lot in a retreat and continues to help me when I look at her every day. I hope she inspires you as much or more than me!