A Buddhist meditation retreat at home alone? Maybe it sounds a little intimidating! But by taking into account certain details to prepare ourselves well, we will resolve in advance a large part of the obstacles that could arise before, during, and after the retreat, to fully enjoy the experience. With the guidance of a genuine teacher who guides us in the practice and philosophy of meditative techniques – such as shamata or vipassana – in addition to the support of a community of practitioners who accompany us virtually, these days can mark a before and after in our lives.

1. Get informed, plan and commit

Before making a final decision, do your research. Read up, seek out teacher reviews, check out the requirements and structure of the retreat, and ask the organizers any questions you may have.

If after that research you think it is feasible to do so, then set aside those days in your calendar and prepare everything necessary in advance.

It is also important to mention that the cornerstone of this project will be commitment. This is one of those times in life when if you say “yes,” you are committing to investing your resources one hundred percent. There are no half-measures, only the decision to live the process to the end.

2. Reflect on the benefits

As part of your motivation, nothing will help you better than being convinced of all the benefits that a retreat entails. Reflect on the aspects that you think will benefit your practice and your life in general. Don’t just think about immediate benefits, but also medium and long-term ones.

3. Develop the right motivation

Create the intention that participating in the retreat will benefit as many people as possible. For example, you might consider that taking the retreat will help your meditation practice and therefore you will be more receptive and patient, potentially having a positive impact on the people around you.

4. Choose the place

Ideally, your meditation cave will be your home, with good internet access to connect to the sessions and a room that only you have access to on those days to develop the retreat.

If you live with other people, let them know that you will be on retreat and explain in general terms what it will involve, so that they can understand the conditions of tranquility and silence that will be necessary.

If you find it too complicated to do the retreat at home, you can rent a separate space, for example, in nature.

Remember, there are ideal conditions and then there are realistic ones, so don’t stress yourself out and do what you can to make sure your place has all the necessary conditions.

5. Plan your meals

Don’t overcomplicate things on those days; you can prepare what you need in advance and freeze it, or you can also prepare simple meals like sandwiches, instant oatmeal, fruit, etc.

Remember that during these days your physical activity will decrease significantly, so it is not necessary to consume large amounts of food.

Make sure your diet is light and healthy, preferably vegetarian, and, of course, without alcohol, tobacco, or other intoxicants.

This may be a great opportunity to consider intermittent fasting, in which you plan a period in which you consume food and a larger window of time in which you let your digestive system rest by ingesting only liquids, such as water or tea.

If you want to go even deeper into the practice of fasting in the Buddhist context, you can take the Soyong Vows – a 24-hour vow of purification or restoration, taken on special days, or to create optimal conditions for reflection and meditation. The seventh of these vows is related to abstaining from food after midday until dawn the next day.

6. Plan for possible setbacks

Make a list of situations or people that might require your attention during the retreat and design an action plan. For example:

• If you have an upcoming project, get tasks done in advance so you can complete them in advance and disconnect without worries.
• Notify your family that you will not be available.
• If you have small children, plan who will be caring for them and leave emergency telephone numbers, medical instructions, etc. in writing.

 7. Be clear about the structure of the retreat

Familiarize yourself with the schedule and routine you will have during the retreat.

If you are participating online in a Paramita retreat, check the schedules proposed for your country and see which sessions you can attend live and which sessions you can watch on a delayed basis. (If you are participating from a non-Spanish-speaking country, you will need to find out the time difference between Spain and where you are.)

It may be helpful to print out the retreat schedule and post it somewhere visible so you can refer to it if you have any questions.

8. Train yourself in periods of silence and calm

To begin to get used to the calm of retreat, try experimenting with short periods of silence. For example, if you’re used to having music playing in the background while you do your homework, try working in silence. If you’re bored, instead of reaching for your phone, try simply observing and living with that boredom for a few minutes.

9. Clear your mind of all expectations

Having rigid expectations about what you should feel or experience during the retreat can limit your ability to simply live it. Try to remain free of comparisons that can cause frustration or disappointment, instead, live the experience as an adventure of self-discovery, allowing the experience to surprise you.

10. Maintain digital disconnection

I know, in these times the idea of ​​spending a few days without a cell phone sounds outrageous, however, if we see it as a communication tool and not as an object on which our life depends, then it will be easier to give in and let it go.

If you consider that it is strictly necessary to use it to communicate with someone and that you have no choice, set a schedule and a time window (as short as possible) to use it and, of course, social networks are ruled out.

11. Exercise consciously

During the retreat, you will spend most of your time sitting, so your body could benefit from some exercise. Avoid strenuous exercises, instead try hatha yoga, tai chi, chi kung, light walking (you can turn this into a moving meditation session, mindful of your breathing and each step), or a short warm-up and gentle stretching.

12. Take care of your free time

You will have downtime on retreat, so try to use those moments to review your lessons or spend that time on Dharma-related activities, such as reading biographies of great masters, Buddhist sutras, or other Dharma books. Here is a selection of our favorite books for adults.

The goal is to continue taking care of our mind during breaks, avoiding falling into distractions that absorb us and make us neglect the present.

13. Be patient with the process

After so much preparation, the retreat arrives and you are there, living the experience naked, direct, and so many things can happen!

Your body gets into trouble and your legs go numb, your back hurts or you just get tired of sitting. Your mind rebels and you get overwhelmed, bored, etc. My best advice: stay calm!

Remember, this is an experience that goes beyond your routine and your comfort zone, accept the tumult of emotions and thoughts, breathe and cross that border of the uncomfortable, the unknown, or even the overwhelming, and live with what is happening without clinging to it and without judging it, breathe and let it pass.

14. Returning to your routine

Once the retreat experience is over, there is a phase of adaptation to your daily activities. In the case of short retreats, you may not notice much difficulty in “returning to the world,” but depending on each practitioner, there is a chance that returning to the noise and hustle of routine may be a bit challenging the first few days.

Compensate for any hypersensitivity with patience and apply what you have learned in the retreat, living meditation as the best tool to observe yourself and reality without identifications.

I find it useful at the end of this experience to write a reflection or conclusion about the whole process, from preparation to the days after the retreat. Bring the main lessons to life and dedicate the merit of having allowed yourself to experience the retreat, for the benefit of all beings.